GoDaddy vs PETA

You know… I used to work for GoDaddy.  So, when a friend of mine sent this link, I had to watch (be warned: dead elephant is shown). Don’t worry, I tie this loosely into Easter at the end… I think…?

Now, I am not exact a PETA zealot…but when their spokesperson was like,”Why not build a fence?” I was like…hmm, sounds pretty darn sensible, but you know me – I had to go do some research.  I hit up a bunch of articles.  The one that most interested me was here.

THE RESEARCH SIDE
Here are the two key research points:

• In Zimbabwe, the elephant population is increasing, as stated, and does represent a true problem to farmers.  Elephants in this country have been reclassified and may be hunted within regulatory limits.  So, like it or not, Mr. Parsons isn’t doing anything legally wrong.
• Mr. Parsons is an avid hunter.

THE SUBJECTIVE SIDE
The whole story of helping the Zimbabwe farmers, although true, has nothing to do with why he showed up (IMHO).  Why not just call a spade a spade? There’s nothing to cover up, so why bother trying so hard? The whole interview coulda been so much smoother:

Interviewer: “Why are you killing elephants?”

Simulated Bob: “I am a hunter, it’s what I do when I… go hunting.”

Interviewer: “Isn’t that illegal, aren’t elephants endangered??!!”

Simulated Bob:: “They aren’t considered endangered in Zimbabwe – so a regulated number of them can be hunted.  I pay a chunk of money to their government which helps their economy, I get to hunt an elephant, the farmers for miles around get to have some needed protein in their diet, and the tusks are sold to support the economy legally instead of through poaching. It is a win-win-win-win. That’s pretty darn good, in my book.”

Interviewer: “So if you have a billion dollars, why not give them some money?”

Simulated Bob: “Because I didn’t go there to give them money.  I went there to hunt an elephant.”

PETA Dude: “But why not build a fence?”

Simulated Bob: “Because I didn’t go there to build a fence.  I went there to hunt an elephant.”

Interviewer: “Will you continue hunting elephants?”

Simulated Bob: “As long as it’s legal, sure.”

Interviewer: “Why do you look so proud in your pictures with the dead elephant, like you are victorious over your prey?”

Simulated Bob: “Because I was proud, and I was victorious over my prey.  It’s a hunter thing, I wouldn’t expect people who are not into hunting to understand.”

PETA Dude: “Well, we can’t do business with a company that advocates killing the animals we try to protect.”

Bob: “I can understand that, and I wish PETA continued success in its endeavors.”

Then End.  See?  Just tell the truth…it was not a humanitarian mission, it was a hunt. People who are pro-hunting can cheer.  People who are against hunting can boo. Done.

SOME DIRT THAT MAKES THIS POST A LITTLE FUNNERER
Let’s get something straight here. Long ago, when I wrote an email to my wife telling her what an abysmal place GoDaddy had turned out to be – about how the people were yelled at consistently, about how cameras were installed to spy on the workers and make sure they were busy, about how I felt the environment was about as entrepreneurial as a burlap sack, I was not happy with Mr. Parsons (and he was certainly not happy with me – hehehe).

That’s kind of place GoDaddy was back then (and I do hope it is better now).  So you’d think I’d rip Bob up and down, wouldn’t you? I kinda set out to, but the research didn’t support it so, oh well.  That past is behind me – it has shaped me, but it is done.  So the worst I can say in this article is, he should’ve called it what it was…I think he came off looking like he was back-peddling and defending, because he wouldn’t just admit it was a hunt, and let people decide from there.

For the record, you will not see me hunting anything that isn’t immediately needed for the survival of my family.  In fact, I’d probably get my ass handed to me trying to hunt a bunny rabbit.  But I wouldn’t hunt a bunny rabbit because today is Easter! OMG could you imagine the news on that – “Attempted Murder of the Easter Bunny Ends in Death! Easter Bunny told authorities,”Ted’s dead, baby. Ted’s dead.” Other than a couple broken eggs, Mr. Bunny appeared completely unharmed. District Attorney says they will not be prosecuting stating,”Ted should have known not to attack a creature of fantasy that exists beyond the reach of our legal system. That weren’t too bright.” The End.