people talk most commonly
of the butterfly effect
but today i am pondering the spider effect
i saw him there on the hook
where i hang my shirts to steam them
because i am too lazy to iron
my professional attire
he had spun a web on that hook
about six feet off the ground
on the back of my bathroom door
and i saw a couple beetles but
they were not in his web
they were on the floor
and i thought, you sir
are a none-too-bright spider
if you think you can spin a
web there
and catch anything
ever
but maybe you will surprise me
Mister Spider
maybe
so i backed off my initial plan
to squash him
like the bug he was
and instead let him
take up rent-free residence
on the hook
on the back
of my bathroom door
day one he was zesty
day two a bit moody
day three a bit slower
and today
he was crouched
in a little pitiful ball
i thought he was dead
but he was not
just suspended
about two feet down
from the hook
unable to crawl back up
and apparently
unable to spin more web
to climb down
today
i felt bad for Mister Spider
and thought
as the play god
for that moment
of all the options
at my disposal
and none of them
were any good
how it must suck to be God
i would not want his job
i thought, bring a little beetle
to Mister Spider
but then, who was i to say
mister beetle deserved to die
so Mister Spider could live
then i thought leave
Mister Spider to his fate
After all, he had used his free will
to end up
where he was
and i thought of him there
starving
then maybe i could gather
him up in a cup
and leave him outside
where he would either
become a meal
or find a meal
but in either case
i would be intervening
if he did find a meal
i would be enabling him
and his weaknesses
and if he became a meal
who was i to decide if
he would rather
die of starvation or
die as a meal
and finally i thought
maybe i should just
crush him
like the bug he was
out of mercy
but then
what if ten minutes later a
gnat flew by
and got stuck in that
one strand of web
suspending Mister Spider
he would have a meal then
but then maybe he would be too weak
either way it was not
for me to intervene
and i think as play god
what if i could hear
Mister Spider’s prayers?
what would he be asking for
a meal?
and how many bugs
were sending prayers
to not be meals?
and how many bugs
we praying not to end up
on the grill of a car
or on the losing side
of a can of bug spray
and who would i be to grant
any of those prayers
when i couldn’t even decide
what to do with the
spider
on the back
of my bathroom door
he will likely dangle there
because i think the most humane
thing
is to let him live his life
to whatever its natural end
might be
and then i will just have faith
that it went
how it should
because that is how it went
the end