In Honor of Presidents and . . . 4th Meal

Friends, country bumpkins, and fellow American citizens.  President’s Day means a little something different to each of us.  For some, its a 3 or 4 day weekend.  For others, it is time to buy a car for too much money but be convinced you got a good deal because it came with free hot dogs and your kids each got an American Flag.  For me, it was a day to go clothes shopping in the  Land of Marshall’s and Home of the Free Parking Validation.

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At lunch time we joked about Taco Bell.  At dinner, it weighed heavy on our hearts that we were unable to visit the great Bell of the Taco.  And by 10:00 PM it became clear as my friend texted me, and I do quote, “I want Taco Bell.”  Fourth Meal was upon us.  This was no ordinary fourth meal, however, because I live in Washington, D.C.  And there was a certain sense of…well, I don’t have a word for it, but… On President’s Day weekend, using our country’s hard-earned freedoms to procure unauthentic Mexican cuisine and drive by the Washington Memorial, Capitol, Lincoln Monument, the White House and probably 20 other historic American landmarks before arriving at my friend’s house to consume said cuisine — there is no word for that kind of thing!

I felt…. a little like Bruce Wayne.  And not the cool one in the Dark Knight. No.  I felt like the Michael Keaton one…with the corny line about being “split, right down the middle.”  Yes, that one.  And to this day that line always reminds me of butt cheeks, but I digress!! I was split down the middle. Once side of me said,  “Is this what I have been reduced to in this land of greatness?? Why God? Whyyyyyyy?!!1!!11!”

But the other said of me said, “Shut your pie hole, son. This is FOURTH MEAL, and Taco Bell wouldn’t exist if God didn’t like it!”

It was fourth meal indeed, and there were funny television shows streamed over Al Gore’s intertoobz, decent late night conversation, and all was right with the world for that moment.

So,  in closing, I hope all of America enjoys their President’s Day weekend, each in their own way.  For me, I just imagined what our forefathers would say if they could see me paying $9 in unbacked paper currency for 12 tacos, and delivering them in a horseless carriage going 60mph to a house on the other side of all these memorials (Note to police officers: Once off I-66, I was only going 30mph).  They would probably say, “Those people are f***ing crazy.” And they would be correct.

Let us end with some Presidential wisdom.  To make it more fun, let’s take one quote from our first President, and one from our current President.  Even though the words were spoken hundreds of years apart, I see a unique and worthy relationship between these two statements:

A slender acquaintance with the world must convince every man that actions, not words, are the true criterion of the attachment of friends.
George Washington

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.
Barack Obama

Happy President’s Day!

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